Monday, April 21, 2008

sometimes i wonder

ya ever have one of those days when nothing seems to go right? ever since the garage rafters fell down on the car last wendsday,seemed nothing would ever go right and just kept getting worse well today we finally go a break, the genius engineer hubby i have figured out a way to get the rafters off the car,6 hours later of pulling with a rope and nailing a 2x4 repeating this process for hours, ya know the old block and tackle worked for the eygyptians i guess he figured he could make it work for the garage and it did:)but omg am i sore, i can not imagine how much my hubby and son hurt. all i know was i almost didn't make it with my back and luckily the running board on the car was available.that was the good news, the bad news was it showed just how big my big fat butt is.i quickly wiped that area clean bewahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

the damage to the house is more extensive than we first thought and the car is well im heartbroken BUT with enough money(got to sell my stamps or yarn stash or something)i think can maybe,. just maybe be made almost as good as new. the worst damage is to the roof, several large dents are in it not to mention that one is right on a seam, i know you are thinking seam???? but older cars had seams usually around the roof line and the hood here is a seam on this car anyways and whats bad about the roof is a big dent right by where the door opens, flat places are much easier to fix than when ya have a dent on a curve. sigh anyways whats done is done and not all i can do about it but wait for ins adjsuster to contact me which she still has not called even though i reported it last week . guess its not as important to them, they want to get their money fast enough darn people anyway well what will be will be. and no its not a stupid doris day movie, well think im going to try and sleep am hurting so bad and need to try and let my meds work i guess. so until tomorrow be kind to each other, ya never know when your garage rafters are going to fall

Friday, April 18, 2008

bad news

looks like more than what we thought is damaged, please think good thoughts and prayers everything is covered, i am heartsick, just want to throw in the towel for good.someone please tell fate to be kind to me:P hugs and love vicki

life is a bitch sometimes

ya know how sometimes ya feel like just throwing in the towel, like giving all your crap away and ride off into the sunset? thats about how i feel right now. we have had one bad thing after another happen to us and i can't take any more. 2 days ago hubby and i were sitting down to dinner, talking , laughing , enjoying a rare moment when we are not fighting. when we heard this god awful roar and then crash, my first thought was oh no please god not the car. we have a old car we are restoring and was almost done with it. getting it ready to sell so maybe could pay bills off and then retire if i could find any decent medical that would pay for my medicine. well all hell broke loose cause you got it was the car, not only the car was what happened to the car which killed me. the whole damn rafters fell on top of the car . we keep our christmas stuff up there ect. alot of smaller things and this has been this way for over 25 years. well called the ins company , bad news car is NOT insured , and you know why its not? cause i am to stupid to think they might not cover it since is up on jackstands and is not operable, but that don;'t matter no sir , uh uh , but it would have been if i had put comprension on it for 30 frigging dollars for 6 months, i am heart sick i feel like i have had my heart ripped out and stomped all over it.
how do i tell my husband who loved that car for all he is worth that it would have been fixed for 30 f**king dollars.. how please tell me how i do that. he at first went physco and blamed me for all the crap up there , but then realized what he was doing and apologized. i am sick, just sick, he said will cost around 10K to fix damage to the roof the hood and god knows what else. all told though it stood up pretty damn good, shows ya that cars in america USE to be made of strong steel, not the shit they have now. now waiting on the adjuster to call to tell me if the structure is covered. is going to cost plenty to fix this too, going to have to rip out sheet rock. buy lumbar, hell i might as well walk away for all the crap we have to do. i am so sick to my stomach i want to throw up. im leaving it up to god, life right now is more than i can bear.

therapy is kicking my butt and only making things worse so will have to wait and see only been once so will see. sig my pt is awesome but she will have to let me go at my own pace and she said she will of course. that my friend is a good therapist. doing the stretches she wants me to do kill me and i hurt so bad afterwards but she said i need to do them to losen up my back and butt. is there ever a end to bad luck? can i ever look forward to having one little single day of happiness without pain and suffering and stress, is that to much to ask of anyone, why does this keep happening, why is life so unkind. what did i do to deserve this, i must be a bad person is all i can think of. someone somewhere has my name on a bullseye and is throwing poison darts at me. i guess maybe if i sell most of my possesions i can raise enough money to pay to have the car fixed. hubby said probably 10K worth of damage . i figure if i sell my stamp collection daddy gave me maybe will raise half that maybe will see thanks for listening to me rant away i am so out of it am not sure if i am even of i will make it to the next day let alone hour. got to stop it just has to thanks for bein here for me, without ya all not sure if i could go on. love ya all

Sunday, April 13, 2008

hey ya all

been a while i know sorry, things have not been all that great it i guess i figured was better to say nothing than bitch all the time about how i feel, right now am feeling like a total failure , yesterday(the 11th actually) was my daughters birthday and i so let her down, i couldn't even bake the cake i have made for her every single year since she was 1 year old. i know she said it was alright but dammit it is NOT alright,totally frigging sucks why does this pain have to kick me in the ass so bad

went to the doc early last week as i couldnt stand the horrible pain and was asking for some help. meaning i needed something more for pain, well what i got was not the thing was asking for at all what i got was more physical therapy. mind you it has its place but i also remember the disticnt feeling of PAIN!!! although the gal who worked on me in the past told me if its hurting you so you are feeling worse is moving to fast and time to slow it down, a far cry from the clinic where i had gone before this one where the therapists attitude was no pain, no gain. something which she had the balls to say to me, omg that pissed me off.i walked out and never went back was a bunch of bs. my doctor said he is wondering if i don't have fibromyalgia . i sure have the symptoms of it one thing which is bothering me is alot of tightness around my face. first i thought was related to sinus but the doc don't think so, and now i am wondering myself, have beem taking sinus meds and isn;t making any diff so am wondering. sigh guess this is turning into a pity whine. never mind it and tell me how you all are.

on a positive note my friend melissa who is another member of who was my secretpal has agreed to make me a web page so i can sell my stuff online. am also working on writing up my patterns for sale. got to dosomething and i would rather make something out of my creations and put them to good work. well am off since i have to sleep if i can. no even now i hurt ,am damn sick of it snd i just want it tired of it and life treating me this way,all in all though could be worse bye for now and thanks for reading this novel please keep being my friend i love you all

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

tuesdays follies

well today was one of those days, one of those ick days, i worked so hard in my house and no one appreicated it at all in fact was asked what i did all day. GIMME a BREAK i could not believe how my husband acted. since his mother died he has been so different. i mean i have been with him for over 36 years and he just is not the man i met and fell in love with, granted 35 years is not when ya all act like first love, but there is so much tension and stress in my house is breaking my heart and our marriage there any hope that he will get better. i feel he is depressed but all he does is deny it and say he is fine

guess i can't make him change but sure is sad that things have reached the point i am thinking of leaving

so besides working today i had to break up a fight between shadow and riley, riley started one and shadow started one. darn cats

thursday riley is going to go to the vets for a little life changing operation. yup he is getting snipped. he won't like it one bit, but i found out the vet has a post op pain shot he can have so he is going to get that even though it cost 17.00

i am so glad they have this for animals now, when baby had her surgery they didn't give anything and she was crying from the pain. but now thank god they realie animals have feelings too and pain is just as bad for them as humans but they don;t understand what is going on.

when he comes home thursday night will keep him seperated from shadow. he won't feel like tussling im sure.

the worst part for him is no food or water after 7 pm tomorrow night
eeeek. but is the way it has to be

today got the cutest ecard from lori carlson aka the shrone. boy lori was i trying to get those spiders and couldn't for the life of me make that hammer move to hit those spiders. got me good you lol was cute thanks so much

got a square yesterday for a friend who has had a tragedy in her life, and alot more coming. boy let me tell you any of you who is helping me make this for our friend , well lets just say you guys are the BEST

i joined a couple more yahoo groups one is A girl can never have to many handbags all running together lol is a fun place to visit and also joined another one with some friends. will post the addy later after asking if its alright.

i met a new friend in pet smart yesterday. it came about quite odd, we were both getting friskie canned cat food for our furkids, i had asked her to move cause she was blocking the chicken and tuna, she moved of course(i asked nicely of course) and when she saw what i had picked out and said i can't have anything with fish in my house it bothers my daughter. i said oh do you live with her
and she said no she lived in her own home but her 43 year old daughter lived with her in HER home. to say i was shocked was a gnat on a bears butt. and of course being the sweet sensitive kind of person i looked at her and said ARE YOU KIDDING ME? i was so shocked at this woman literly telling her mother what she could or could not do, we talked a bit more and she was so sad and almost crying so i asked her if it was alright if i gave her a hug. this womans daughter needs to grow up . and i hope my friend jan gets enough nerve to tell her its her house, needless to say i now have a new friend and maybe even after we talk a bit more we can go out to lunch at ivars which is fish and chips or even skippers lol

where does one draw the my house my kids live here but is not their home forever but while they are here i request and demand respect and for them to follow some very basic guidelines. and while occasionally we have a spat or 2 do to the fact my dd is a adult and has her own mind and don;t like me telling her what to do, she lives here so therefor she follows the rules(mostof the time, those times she don;t she hears about it from me)

and since they are both working i require them to help with grocerys and bills i do not charge rent but i do ask for a bit of help and it seems to be working.

am working on a bunch of things right now and am making my sp something special i hope she likes it got a couple more things to do also for her and then will send the reveal package i hope she dont know who i am yet :D

weather is odd but typical spring cold damp and the occasionaly stray snow flake or hail stone. and of course ever present sunshine

my magnolia tree is getting ready to bloom and what amazes me is the fact that a small piece of it had broken off so i stuck it in the pot of my old marigolds. amazing enough it is going to bloomfrom that stick in the pot. wow wouldn'tthat be cool thatit grew from a small stick to a new tree? same with the camelia bush way cool

well am off to snooze land as i have to be up early tomorrow in the wee hours of around 6:30 to 7:00 am to take fil to the doc for another stupid test. gosh i feel bad for him he is now battling all this sickness and things and all the time mom was alive he took care of her and was not sick at all please keep him in your thoughts and prayers . well am off to snoozeeeeeeeeeeee land till tomorrow ciao

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