bad news

looks like more than what we thought is damaged, please think good thoughts and prayers everything is covered, i am heartsick, just want to throw in the towel for good.someone please tell fate to be kind to me:P hugs and love vicki

life is a bitch sometimes

ya know how sometimes ya feel like just throwing in the towel, like giving all your crap away and ride off into the sunset? thats about how i feel right now. we have had one bad thing after another happen to us and i can't take any more. 2 days ago hubby and i were sitting down to dinner, talking , laughing , enjoying a rare moment when we are not fighting. when we heard this god awful roar and then crash, my first thought was oh no please god not the car. we have a old car we are restoring and was almost done with it. getting it ready to sell so maybe could pay bills off and then retire if i could find any decent medical that would pay for my medicine. well all hell broke loose cause you got it was the car, not only the car was what happened to the car which killed me. the whole damn rafters fell on top of the car . we keep our christmas stuff up there ect. alot of smaller things and this has been this way for over 25 years. well called the ins company , bad news car is NOT insured , and you know why its not? cause i am to stupid to think they might not cover it since is up on jackstands and is not operable, but that don;'t matter no sir , uh uh , but it would have been if i had put comprension on it for 30 frigging dollars for 6 months, i am heart sick i feel like i have had my heart ripped out and stomped all over it.
how do i tell my husband who loved that car for all he is worth that it would have been fixed for 30 f**king dollars.. how please tell me how i do that. he at first went physco and blamed me for all the crap up there , but then realized what he was doing and apologized. i am sick, just sick, he said will cost around 10K to fix damage to the roof the hood and god knows what else. all told though it stood up pretty damn good, shows ya that cars in america USE to be made of strong steel, not the shit they have now. now waiting on the adjuster to call to tell me if the structure is covered. is going to cost plenty to fix this too, going to have to rip out sheet rock. buy lumbar, hell i might as well walk away for all the crap we have to do. i am so sick to my stomach i want to throw up. im leaving it up to god, life right now is more than i can bear.

therapy is kicking my butt and only making things worse so will have to wait and see only been once so will see. sig my pt is awesome but she will have to let me go at my own pace and she said she will of course. that my friend is a good therapist. doing the stretches she wants me to do kill me and i hurt so bad afterwards but she said i need to do them to losen up my back and butt. is there ever a end to bad luck? can i ever look forward to having one little single day of happiness without pain and suffering and stress, is that to much to ask of anyone, why does this keep happening, why is life so unkind. what did i do to deserve this, i must be a bad person is all i can think of. someone somewhere has my name on a bullseye and is throwing poison darts at me. i guess maybe if i sell most of my possesions i can raise enough money to pay to have the car fixed. hubby said probably 10K worth of damage . i figure if i sell my stamp collection daddy gave me maybe will raise half that maybe will see thanks for listening to me rant away i am so out of it am not sure if i am even of i will make it to the next day let alone hour. got to stop it just has to thanks for bein here for me, without ya all not sure if i could go on. love ya all

hey ya all

been a while i know sorry, things have not been all that great it i guess i figured was better to say nothing than bitch all the time about how i feel, right now am feeling like a total failure , yesterday(the 11th actually) was my daughters birthday and i so let her down, i couldn't even bake the cake i have made for her every single year since she was 1 year old. i know she said it was alright but dammit it is NOT alright,totally frigging sucks why does this pain have to kick me in the ass so bad


went to the doc early last week as i couldnt stand the horrible pain and was asking for some help. meaning i needed something more for pain, well what i got was not the thing was asking for at all what i got was more physical therapy. mind you it has its place but i also remember the disticnt feeling of PAIN!!! although the gal who worked on me in the past told me if its hurting you so you are feeling worse is moving to fast and time to slow it down, a far cry from the clinic where i had gone before this one where the therapists attitude was no pain, no gain. something which she had the balls to say to me, omg that pissed me off.i walked out and never went back was a bunch of bs. my doctor said he is wondering if i don't have fibromyalgia . i sure have the symptoms of it one thing which is bothering me is alot of tightness around my face. first i thought was related to sinus but the doc don't think so, and now i am wondering myself, have beem taking sinus meds and isn;t making any diff so am wondering. sigh guess this is turning into a pity whine. never mind it and tell me how you all are.




on a positive note my friend melissa who is another member of crochtville.org who was my secretpal has agreed to make me a web page so i can sell my stuff online. am also working on writing up my patterns for sale. got to dosomething and i would rather make something out of my creations and put them to good work. well am off since i have to sleep if i can. no even now i hurt ,am damn sick of it snd i just want it tired of it and life treating me this way,all in all though could be worse bye for now and thanks for reading this novel please keep being my friend i love you all

tuesdays follies

well today was one of those days, one of those ick days, i worked so hard in my house and no one appreicated it at all in fact was asked what i did all day. GIMME a BREAK i could not believe how my husband acted. since his mother died he has been so different. i mean i have been with him for over 36 years and he just is not the man i met and fell in love with, granted 35 years is not when ya all act like first love, but there is so much tension and stress in my house is breaking my heart and our marriage apart.is there any hope that he will get better. i feel he is depressed but all he does is deny it and say he is fine

guess i can't make him change but sure is sad that things have reached the point i am thinking of leaving



so besides working today i had to break up a fight between shadow and riley, riley started one and shadow started one. darn cats

thursday riley is going to go to the vets for a little life changing operation. yup he is getting snipped. he won't like it one bit, but i found out the vet has a post op pain shot he can have so he is going to get that even though it cost 17.00


i am so glad they have this for animals now, when baby had her surgery they didn't give anything and she was crying from the pain. but now thank god they realie animals have feelings too and pain is just as bad for them as humans but they don;t understand what is going on.

when he comes home thursday night will keep him seperated from shadow. he won't feel like tussling im sure.

the worst part for him is no food or water after 7 pm tomorrow night
eeeek. but is the way it has to be



today got the cutest ecard from lori carlson aka the shrone. boy lori was i trying to get those spiders and couldn't for the life of me make that hammer move to hit those spiders. got me good you lol was cute thanks so much


got a square yesterday for a friend who has had a tragedy in her life, and alot more coming. boy let me tell you any of you who is helping me make this for our friend , well lets just say you guys are the BEST

i joined a couple more yahoo groups one is A girl can never have to many handbags all running together lol is a fun place to visit and also joined another one with some friends. will post the addy later after asking if its alright.

i met a new friend in pet smart yesterday. it came about quite odd, we were both getting friskie canned cat food for our furkids, i had asked her to move cause she was blocking the chicken and tuna, she moved of course(i asked nicely of course) and when she saw what i had picked out and said i can't have anything with fish in my house it bothers my daughter. i said oh do you live with her
and she said no she lived in her own home but her 43 year old daughter lived with her in HER home. to say i was shocked was a gnat on a bears butt. and of course being the sweet sensitive kind of person i looked at her and said ARE YOU KIDDING ME? i was so shocked at this woman literly telling her mother what she could or could not do, we talked a bit more and she was so sad and almost crying so i asked her if it was alright if i gave her a hug. this womans daughter needs to grow up . and i hope my friend jan gets enough nerve to tell her its her house, needless to say i now have a new friend and maybe even after we talk a bit more we can go out to lunch at ivars which is fish and chips or even skippers lol


where does one draw the line.in my house my kids live here but is not their home forever but while they are here i request and demand respect and for them to follow some very basic guidelines. and while occasionally we have a spat or 2 do to the fact my dd is a adult and has her own mind and don;t like me telling her what to do, she lives here so therefor she follows the rules(mostof the time, those times she don;t she hears about it from me)

and since they are both working i require them to help with grocerys and bills i do not charge rent but i do ask for a bit of help and it seems to be working.


am working on a bunch of things right now and am making my sp something special i hope she likes it got a couple more things to do also for her and then will send the reveal package i hope she dont know who i am yet :D

weather is odd but typical spring cold damp and the occasionaly stray snow flake or hail stone. and of course ever present sunshine

my magnolia tree is getting ready to bloom and what amazes me is the fact that a small piece of it had broken off so i stuck it in the pot of my old marigolds. amazing enough it is going to bloomfrom that stick in the pot. wow wouldn'tthat be cool thatit grew from a small stick to a new tree? same with the camelia bush way cool

well am off to snooze land as i have to be up early tomorrow in the wee hours of around 6:30 to 7:00 am to take fil to the doc for another stupid test. gosh i feel bad for him he is now battling all this sickness and things and all the time mom was alive he took care of her and was not sick at all please keep him in your thoughts and prayers . well am off to snoozeeeeeeeeeeee land till tomorrow ciao

shawl i made for my friend nancy

hey ya all

thought i would pop in and say howdy. things have been crazy. alot of running around like crazy. things have gone from bad to worse and seem to go on that wayi seriously need to make some money while cleaning my craft stuff out and willgive ya a awesome deal on stuff

today it snowed , again, does not mother nature know its SPRING? we had about 2 inches last night and they said tonight we could get anywhere from 1 to 3 in more in higher areas

is so pretty though gosh i love looking at the trees in spring bloom covered with show flakes wow is a crazy sight

my friend frans dad died yesterday . if you belong or did belong to the ville then you know who she is please think of her and her family in this sad time for them.

not much else to say, thought i should post though since i really other than my uncle have not posted in a while i know im bad bad bad shame on me and all that jazz gimme a break self loljust finished a beautiful full size black shawl with fringe for my friend nancy, she will love it when she sees it. hopefully that is.

my nephew nick cut his finger really bad
needed 14 stitches and now is off work, not sure if he had any tendons or muscles cut but was a bad one, love ya nick, be good and listen to your mom now


been busy making barbie clothes and looking off intospace and falling asleep so am off as ofright now lol so ciao amd will see ya when i see ya hugs and love vicki

house of the rising sun a dedication

my uncle larry passed away yesterday i dedicate this posting to you uncle. this was his favorite song, he would sit and strum his guitar and sing this song over and over and over, he taught me how to play it on my guitar back when i could still play and we often would sit and strum and sing this song. uncle larry suffered from
bipolar disease and also was a manic depressant, he is now at peace with our lord jesus christ who he recently accepted into his heart. for many years we didn't see each other because of a situation that happened when i was a teenager and he was not on his medicine. when mom died in 06 we sat for a bit and talked. i told him i didn;t hold him accountable for what happened anymore and had forgiven him he was glad it shows you should not hold a grudge with people, when you do sometimes you don't get to say goodbye and then you have no place to go. thanks for letting me reach out to him even in death he cared about others. god bless you uncle larry, here is to lippy the hippy as was his nickname


There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God I know I'm one

My mother was a tailor
She sewed my new bluejeans
My father was a gamblin' man
Down in New Orleans

Now the only thing a gambler needs
Is a suitcase and trunk
And the only time he's satisfied
Is when he's on a drunk

------ organ solo ------

Oh mother tell your children
Not to do what I have done
Spend your lives in sin and misery
In the House of the Rising Sun

Well, I got one foot on the platform
The other foot on the train
I'm goin' back to New Orleans
To wear that ball and chain

Well, there is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God I know I'm one



now your with jesus uncle larry, god bless and keep you love your niece

what a bargain this is, yarn for sale

my sister kathy needs to make a bit of money and since she has more yarn than she needs she is selling at a deep discount this is what she has for sale. you are interested contact me here and i will give you her contact information she accepts paypal and money orders only thanks so much

Unique Yarns for Sale

Lot 1 $35.50 + $12 S/H

Elsbeth Lavold Silky Wool from Spring 05 Collection

Soft, silky feel 65% Wool 35% Silk You can see this at Yarndex.com

Color 01 Natural 5 skeins

Color 03 Gray 5 skeins

Color 09 Jade 3 skeins

Lot 2 $22 + actual s/h

Berroco Softwist Bulky 41% Wool 59% Rayon

Soft, shimmery Bulky weight yarn

Mushroom 2 skeins

Pitch Black 1 skein

Lot 3 $5 each or whole lot for $100 + actual s/h

Plymouth Boku 95% Wool 5% Silk

If you like Noro you will LOVE Boku, it is similar in color and shading, felts beautifully

Color 1 Lot 1 6 skeins

Color 2 Lot 2 1 skein

Color 3 Lot 3 1 skein

Color 4 Lot 4 7 skeins

Color 5 Lot 5 2 skeins

Color 5 Lot 23 1 skein

Color 6 Lot 12A 6 skeins

my week sigh

well today is saturday and while the last of the week was not so great i made do, got very little done and no one gives a rip around here but i decided to heck with them if they don't understand about why i don't feel up to doing anything well they can stuff it, even shadow knows when i don't feel good, and will sit there and give me kisses. sometimes i want to make my family live in my body for even a day but realisticly i would l think they need at least a month to see all the diff ways i have to live and how i feel. but sigh so not going to happen oh well i just ignore them for the most part. sadly tuesday did NOT get any cookies baked cause could nothing went right and worst of all i can NOT find my oatmeal recipe, if i gave it to any of you please pm me or email and share back please.im heartsick over not being able to find it, my son baked christmas cookies and got into my recipe boxes and for some reason this is one of the ones mia. sigh crying here i love this cookie recipe. so am hoping i shared it with someone and you can share back would be a awesome day if i do get it back.

now for good news for a change today in the mail i got the most awesome package from my secret pal over at the crochetville. inside was the most beautiful tea cup infusser, and 3 tins of adiago tea,. for those of you who don't know about adiago tea, well sit back and let me tell you all about it, this tea is one of the best there is, i got valentines and also ear grey and also blue berry. and if that was not enough she also sent me a bamboo size f hook and not one not two but three skeins of sock yarn, already got started on a pair of socks, is multicolored, hope they turn out i suck at socks but found a good pattern and know i can do it lol so to you my secret pal, the one person who sooo made my day a good day i thank you, life right now is sweet!!! now am off to put the boys to bed,. shadow and riley sleep in our gargage and when its cold i put them in early like tonight is so darn cold , is killer on my body but they need some love and care and they depend on mommy(thats me lol) and i have to go now and take care of them might post later but for now a great big thank you to my secret pal hugs and love to ya all

tuesdays musings

well not much to say today have a vicous head ache and feel like crap but decided am going to get my butt in gear and make some oatmeal raisin cookies. they are so yummy and soft i am hungry for them and besides they are super good, today suppose to have a nasty storm so only am going to just go and do what i have to and then come home and bake and if i can get enough energy together. part i know is my meds. they make me sleepy and i am tired all the time. doc thinks might be fibromyalgia wouldn't doubt it since i have all of the sypmtoms. gak just what i need more sickness and illness, hubby will go out of his mind i wish things would change for so many of my friends they are all in the same situation and having fibro sucks.

spring is almost here and im more than ready for it actually.i hate this crappy weather.i want some sunshine and warm weather kkam off to bake cookies, i think lol take care and hugs and love for ya all ciao

these are a couple shawls i made. this first one is not really this color is the lighting, its actually more of a raspberry i hope you all enjoy looking as much as i enjoyed making them, i am called the shawl queen on some places lol

please keep my friend kathy in your hearts and send her healing thoughts for her son tim, he is in need of some prayers and good thoughts, all i ask is you send them thru howeer ya want. i can not imagine how hard it must be for her and i'm sending you all my love and prayers and healing thoughts i can send tim needs to be brought to himthru o lord.so as i prayed with you earlier i feel the lord will be there with you. keep in touch and know im here for you sweetie hugs my friend hugs and love vicki

foryou kathy

.

SEND MY FRIEND AN ANGEL

Please send my friend an angel
Send her one of mine
A loving and caring one
The best that you can find.

.Please send my friend an angel
And trust her with its care
Someone or something for her to love
And to always be there.

Please send my friend an angel
One to help her fill her days
With hope,love and laughter
And the warmth of sunshine rays.

.Please send my friend an angel
You know she gave me one of mine
Please send her down an angel
A true friend's hard to find.

midi ~ Angel Eyes

.

SEND MY FRIEND AN ANGEL

Please send my friend an angel
Send her one of mine
A loving and caring one
The best that you can find.

.Please send my friend an angel
And trust her with its care
Someone or something for her to love
And to always be there.

Please send my friend an angel
One to help her fill her days
With hope,love and laughter
And the warmth of sunshine rays.

.Please send my friend an angel
You know she gave me one of mine
Please send her down an angel
A true friend's hard to find.

hey ya all lookie what i found

i found this quilt sitting all alone on a thrift store is ahand made original arch quilt made in hawthorne new york. having done some research i found that this company use to employ local women to hand make brand new had quilts, back in anere the 1940's thru the 1960's i found this to be quite beautiful and looks to be brand new condition. aren't i the lucky one. and to sweeten the pot would you believe it was only 35.00 now howsthem bargains doing lol

well anyways was a great find. will keep me warm which speaking of was darn cold this morning 20 degrees again, but soon spring will be here, in just a couple of weeks to go lol

although i sure can't complain,back in nc where my friend kathy lives they had tornado warnings, she said the sky was heavy with clouds alot of thunder and lightning. and my friend fran who lives in texas says yesterday it snowed today in the 70's and more snow tonight, so will just enjoy the weather we are having lol i also now have pics of all the goodies i recieved from barb in the kitchen swap i love all of it my friend here it is.

not up to much else. just reading alot of blogs and doing a little crochet. working on something for my secret pal so am not speaking of what it is.

my uksp is very nice too,i have a feeling we know each other but to tell you the truth i don't have a clue as to who she is. and actually i don't want to know it will spoil the suprise lol

today went to the po and had to wait there for over a hour.see here is the situation, my son has ordered alot of dvd's from disney and the first box that came was almost completely empty except for a package of diet cookies. someone in the postal service or disneys employee stole all those movies. alot of them and boy was my son and myself pissed off, so we called disney who said would replace them free of charge. sothe box went out the 15th of feb. we have been waiting and waiting and morons back in wisconsin post offce somehow forgot to mail i so we have been waiting all this time for freaking NOTHING, so disney is going to replace the order free of charge and send it out priority mail. thanks to the disney company and parkland post office for finding out where the movies are sitting, i appreciate your help.

not much else happening around here. life goes on,been trying to destash alot of my patterns and have a buyer for a stack again. thanks my friend , lt me know how ya want to do this.

tonight talked to alot of people, fran who i am great friends with, and jean and kathy again great friends with and then just before i posted herejacqui popped on, omgosh have not talked to her in ages, i love talking with all my friends i have met so many nice people on the puter lol

so am off to work on my shawl for nancy who is NOT my secret pal but a special person anyways!!! peace and love to you all, take each day as it comes, forget the anger the pain, the bad times and move forward as there is nothing you can do about any of it so let it go and start each day anew without stress and anger. till we meet again which i will try realllly hard to make this a daily thing, and this i promise if i can't make it daily at least will try and make it interesting. god bless all of you and keep your postive thoughts going and hang on to the good times but let the bad times end for you each day have nothing but good thoughts and happiness for you i love and miss ya all goodnight my friends,l

is it spring yet?

omgosh today was downright COLD had some errands to run so wore a sweatshirt and my jean jacket, figured i would be fine then well sigh i know how it goes lately i wear something warm i roast, if i wear a t-shirt i freeze , i can not win, sigh, anyways got done and came home waiting for the mail, son is expecting a expensive package so am on time waiting for the mailman to come. so here comes ed the singing mailman, has 3 count them 3 huge boxes all from my friend kathy in nc i knew what she was sending but still is amazing how much stuff she putin the box


anywhoo i might lol be sending alot more back to her at least 3 boxes more lol


been going thru my crochet mags and after i talk to someone about them(she is interested s0 letting her look first) then will post tomorrow, and as always if ya see something drop me a note


well am beat tonight so am going to get off here. take care ya all peace and love always hugs