hey ya all

well here i wanted to wish ya all a happy memorial day, instead i am sitting her sick to my tummy because my jackass doctor decided i didn't need the nausea meds to take with my pain meds. no thanks to him i am not in the hosptial. thankfully the pharmacist showed me some otc for me to take that seems to help some. i sooo can not believe he did that to me, said i took to many, yea jackass cause you frigging TOLD me o double up on them ya idiot. now i am worried about my pain meds, shit if he is being pissy about nausea meds what the frig is he going to do about pain meds if i come in 2 days early? shit i want to just find a new doctor but it wouldn't be so easy and he damn well knows it which is why i can't bitch him out the way i want to cause if i do he will say fine leave i know he already told me thats what he did to someone who was upset with him over this very same thing. but wtf does he not understand that without these meds or some similar to them i am suppose to do i guess he don't care that i get sick to my tummy when i take the pain meds. i made my appointment a couple days early as i had plans for the 2nd which is when i would have had to go insead made for the 30th which is friday i suppose he will bitch about that too although i have enough meds if i am careful, i made he visit a couple days early god forbid he could give me a few extra, he won't increase the strength even though my body is use to them and at this point is pretty much useless as they don; work sigh why are people such pricks. i have been crying all day because of this, tonight had company so had to pretend that nothing was wrong but dad saw thru it anyways and asked me then said he wishes he had not thrown moms away cause i could have had them. sigh


i am worried about him his legs are still swelling and doc wants him to stay off thenm but he won;t says if he can;' at least work in the yard why bother getting up in the morning. i kind of know how he feels i feel like i am just totally worthless as a human being. i depend on my stupid doctor who lets me down, i am a burden to my family even though they say no, i feel like i am sometimes i wish i could just go to sleep and not wake up again, but then thats being selfish and i don't want to be. i mean hell everyone wants me to live this wonderful life i have. don't mind me i am in a pissy mood right now am writing this more for myself than anything, just to let ya know i am fine and would not ever do anything stupid. cause i know my friends would kick my ass if i did. they would drag me back from beyond and torment me right sis i know you would

there i got it out of my system YEA RIGht, but won't talk about it anymore.


today worked in the kitchen the house is slowly coming back from before the collapse. almost everything is out now and now have to work on my stash which robin will be going thru this week and send you before you go to vegas alright? going to send one big box instead of 2 smaller ones less postage that way. tracy have yours already to send had to get the custom forms so now should be able to send out next week i forgot about customs and being a goober head forgot exactly what i had put in the box so had to bring it home and find out (blushing here) so hang in there hon it will soon be on its way. laura will hold yours till you say so but i am glad that you got the looms and the tote bag. hopefully you will like it hon


sis how did logan do after i talked to you, i know rich was going to mcdonalds


did logan eat again? growing boys hehe he is such a sweetie what a darling little boy. your very lucky to have him.


jacqui darl am so sorry have not written back i am a bad person, will try tomorrow or maybe a bit later tonight

fran how are you doing? i bet those babies are running you ragged.


anyways for anyone i didn't say don't mean im not thinking about you. just having my usual brain farts that keep my sanity away.

sending all my love and stupid pet tricks to all of you bewahahahahahahahahahahaha love me